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"What we are talking about is that when they go for infidelity or promiscuity, men focus on large numbers and women focus on quality." What really irks Schmitt is that many people interpret this finding to mean that women are designed to be faithful but men are predestined to be promiscuous. Instead, both women and men are fully equipped for one-night stands and lifelong relationships.Schmitt and colleagues asked men and women all over the world about what they wanted from long-term and short-term sexual relationships.

"And, as the Catholics say, there is the issue of avoiding proximate occasions of sin. When people tell me they are having an affair, they think the most dangerous part is getting caught.

Or as my college roomie used to say, 'God will throw a sexy woman in your path every six months.' So don't fan any coals that come your way. One member of a relationship has to switch strategies. "People abandon their long-term sex strategy in favor of a short-term strategy because of lust," Williams says. I think the most dangerous thing is to fall in love." The least dangerous kind of an affair, he says, is the kind of one-night stands that happen at a convention or a conference where people part and never meet again.

The most dangerous are secret, longstanding affairs that go on for years with fantasies and hopes and dreams of building a relationship. Williams thinks his answer will surprise most men -- and few women.

And the desires of men everywhere in the world should differ in the same ways from those of women. Now there's convincing new evidence that this is so.

It comes from the International Sexuality Description Project, led by David P. The projects findings appear in the July 2003 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.




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