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But even with one good friend under my belt, I still found it difficult to find new friends.

I remember it hit me about three months in (you know, let the honeymoon phase fizzle) and thinking, wow, I went from always having plans and friends to hang out with to literally sitting on my couch feeling weirdly lonely watching all my college friends who live in the same city go out and post on social media, and there I was so far away and feeling so out of my comfort zone.

But let’s rewind to 2012, when I first moved to Los Angeles and this certainly wasn’t the case. Sure, when you move to a new city, you expect all the changes—new apartment, new favorite grocery store, new job, etc.

But what I didn’t expect or really think about was how challenging it would be to make a new set of “LA friends.” I was fortunate enough to move to the west coast with one of my dear college friends from the University of Kansas, so I wasn’t completely on my own during this journey.

Originally the app only showed one match per day, but after an update last year, that’s increased.

You never know until you try, and what better way to use IG’s platform than to make plans offline and spend time disconnecting from the internet? So when I moved to LA, I joined an alumni group on Facebook that would post and host spots for grads to gather and watch our team play.This makes it so you don’t have to think twice and takes the mindless stress out of planning a friend date. One of my good friends taught me to always have five questions or topics ready to talk about or funny stories to share on a first date so conversation doesn’t get stale. You may go on a handful of first-date friend setups, but the good news is that as you get older and hit a level of maturity, you realize that if a friendship isn’t working out, there’s no need to force it and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. Don’t feel weird about reaching out to a coworker or someone who went to your college who you weren’t friends with but now live in the same city.Take advantage of childhood or college friends who are willing to set you up with someone they know living in your new city. Plus, who wants to waste time and energy (and the cash! Just remember you’re great and people do want to hang out with you, so be a little shameless and extend an invitation.For the first 18(ish) years of our lives, making friends comes organically.You become close with classmates from elementary to high school because those are the people you see nearly every day.




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He wasn’t that far away, “but I didn’t go where he lived to hang out, so I didn’t really mix and mingle with people in other cities,” she says.


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