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“I’m a bit disappointed in him.” You couldn’t say that Sophie, who answers someone’s infantilising come-ons with the words “Yes, daddy”, is much more sophisticated.Nor is the show, exactly, punctuating its footage with cascading aubergine and peach emojis, the cutesy-crude grocery of suggestion that has become the vocabulary of contemporary wooing.“They’re not pretty, like.” Where Jason stands on disseminating nudes, outside of his hobby, he does not say, but his flirting needs better adornments than his chosen words.“You don’t meet a decent girl like that,” rues his mother, Ann, who is taking the show most seriously, when she sees dating-app messages about hoping to “get into your kickers”.Every time you cross paths with another user of the app (literally) it will show on your timeline.Meaning, if you're 1 to 850ft away from a user, you will get access to their profile and vice versa.

“Our worst nightmare come true,” Emmet Kirwan’s voiceover begins, as though this invitation of “the parental unit” into the most private part of their grown-up children’s souls – which is to say their dating apps – will be a case of cringe at first sight.“Look at his tattoos,” her granny, an early adopter of ink herself, says approvingly of another date.“Oh, I’m very impressed with his tattoos.” And thus, with the meddling hands of those who propagated them, these chronic singletons each find themselves set up with likely matches, both averred animal lovers who, presumably, also have a thing for earpieces. But despite the programme’s ceaseless nudgings in the direction (“What could possibly go wrong! ”) the show’s true nature is both sweeter and sadder, because it recognises that modern dating is so weird and warped that it isn’t an outrageous suggestion to do it under adult supervision.At least that’s the case with the first two guinea pigs, Jason, a 30-year-old scientist, fitness fanatic and evident man-child, and Sophie, a woman in her late 20s who initially seems old before her time.

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